Totally in the Trees

I’m curious… anyone else having trouble seeing the forest for the trees today? Particularly mothers of little gremlins…errr…babies?

If so, I have one word for you – solidarity!

I have a few MORE words for those of you who have already gone through this stage of life or who think you’re not stuck in the middle of the dang forest with the rest of us:

1. If you ever told anyone, anywhere, at ANY time that mothering a baby is easy, then you are a bloody liar.  A LIAR!!!  Fact.  If I could remember who you are (I can’t because I suffer from mom brain), I would turn you into the Bloody Liar Police.  If I ever get over my mom brain malady, you people are in some big ole trouble…

2. If you have been through this phase of life and were blessed with an easy baby (or babies), then count your lucky stars. You win, okay?  I don’t know what you win (joy, sanity, time to shower, maybe?), but you win.  Also, I hate you a little bit.  Not a whole lot (cause I’m kiiiinda happy for you), but a little bit.

3. If you are in the same phase of life (with an itty bitty kiddo that you’re expected to keep alive and important stuff like that) and are able to leave your house (without help!!!) for things like a coffee with friends or a trip to Target… you better go ahead and enjoy yourself.  Also, I’m tempted to call you a bloody liar because I basically don’t know how that’s possible.  But I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because I’m trying to be more gracious up in my life.  You’re welcome.

4. If you showered today (without an audience of one or more children) then you’re having a good day.  YOU JUST ARE, okay?!  Don’t question me on this.

5. Similarly, if your child has napped more than 30 minutes today, you are LUUUUCKKKKYYY!  Lucky, you hear me?! Enjoy yourself, woman!  Take a bubble bath or something.  Or, I dunno, eat.

6. Speaking of, if you remembered to eat today, props.  I give you cool points.  (Editor’s Note – I remembered I needed to eat as I typed this, so I’m eating cold pie straight out of the pan.  Truth   One hand holding baby, the other shoveling pie.   No shame.)

7. If your house looks like a train barreled through it, but you can’t fix it cause #needybaby, I feel ya.  I would send you a picture of my own home to make you feel better, but I won’t because I’m trying to retain SOME semblance of not losing my ever loving mind up in here.  DUH.

And to you who are having trouble seeing the forest for the trees, like I, here’s a thought… let’s just burn down the whole bloody forest!!!  At least we could say we did something productive for the day, eh?

Hang in there, my fellow moms.  They *say* we’ll survive this.  Buuuuut, then again, they could be bloody liars…

P.S. In case you haven’t picked up on it, “bloody” is my newest most favorite word because it makes me British.  And because I’m obsessed with the new royal engagement.  DUH.

P.P.S. I typed this blog post on my telly (that’s a telephone for those of you who aren’t British like me) while holding aforementioned #needybaby.  I wouldn’t want ya thinking I’m having a leisurely coffee while blogging to my heart’s content.  Cause, #imnotabloodyliar.  DUH!

A Birthday Blessing

Today is my sister’s birthday.  It happens every year, but this year feels a little different.  To be clear, we don’t do big birthdays in my family.  We never have – and frankly, I like it that way.  We’re thankful for each other always… but we don’t have to go over the top to celebrate.  […]

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My Best Pregnancy Advice (Volume III)

Here we go, y’all.  Volume III has arrived!  I’m guessing that this will be my last post sharing my (fabulous, obviously) pregnancy advice before da bebe makes an appearance (could be any day now). Also, remember how in my last volume (Volume II), I almost titled it the “REAL pregnant edition”?  Yeah, well little did […]

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My Best Pregnancy Advice (Volume II)

Yowzers… the days are slipping by and soon there will be a BABY in our family.  I’m talking a human child that requires my care.  *Cue hyperventilation moment.* Annnnyway, freak out aside, I’ve added to my earlier list of my best pregnancy advice.  Why?  Cause I can and I will.  Duh.  Besides, girlfriends need to […]

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Sweet Snapshots of Life

I woke up recently and had the realization that this insanely busy season of life is soon going to be over.  The busiest weeks have passed.  I’m grateful for that – and slowly feeling my sanity return – but I’m suddenly feeling a bit melancholy at the thought that things are about to change in […]

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The (Good) Friday Feels

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Sprinkle at 28

I know, I know.  I’ve been a complete and utter slacker on the Sprinkle updates.  Trust me – I’m aware.  But look, it’s no walk in the park growing a tiny human.  We’ve been busy, so taking the time for Sprinkle updates simply hasn’t happened. Until today!  Today I’m making time because I know you’ve […]

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A Little Thankful

It’s a beautiful day in South Carolina.  I’m talking bluebird skies, wispy clouds, glorious sunshine… the works. I found that the day was progressing quite nicely.  I spent the morning with the nephews making homemade cinnamon rolls (yes, they were a hit).  I had lunch with my husband.  I may or may not have even […]

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The Friday Feels

Is it seriously Friday?  Already?! Now don’t get me wrong, I love Fridays (cause it’s the start of the weekend, duh!), but this week went by in a flash!  Whoosh.  Gone.  Bye-bye. Annnyway, I realized that some of my favorite bloggers do a Friday recap of cool links, stories, funny memes, etc. – and they’re […]

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